Email I sent to my co-workers.

Subject line: Incident

Good afternoon,

I would like to report an accident.

I’m not sure of the correct procedure so I’m starting here.

It appears that this gentleman was carrying a knife when he slipped and fell and lost control of the blade and a bloodbath ensued.

I’m pretty sure he’s beyond helping but I felt it was my duty to report it.

At the very least we should dispose of the body and mop up the blood before someone else gets hurt.

Hugs!