My Belt. What a Dickbag!

I was having a loose jeans day on Friday. I was at work and I had to pull my belt to the fourth hole and I thought to myself, Those 4 lunch salads are already paying off!  I’ve probably lost 5 pounds through salads alone! Yay for me!

Cut to Saturday. I’m getting dressed to meet my family for lunch. It’s summer, but I’m putting on jeans because I have amazingly white legs and I haven’t shaved them so jeans are safer. For everyone.

I go to do my belt up and I seem to be able to pull it even further than on Friday. Could this be? Could I finally be losing weight magically with no effort like I always wanted?!


I’m still as chubs as I ever was and my belt decided to prove that to me in a decidedly dickbaggish fashion.


I had broken my belt. It was literally hanging on by an effing thread. Okay, two threads, but that’s not much better! What a kick in the vag!

Also, I spent the whole weekend packing, because we’re moving soon, and I didn’t get out to buy a new belt so today is going to consist of me walking around holding my pants up manually. Unless I can find some string, or I tape them to myself somehow.


6 thoughts on “My Belt. What a Dickbag!

  1. Can I just say that I’m jealous you even have to use a belt?
    My pants just cling. Oh, lordie, do they cling.
    Also, who needs a belt when my belly fat flap can hold the pants in place from the outside?
    (Yes. I went there.)


  2. Trust me I go through similar stuff. Monday-everything feels tight and uncomfortable; work hard all week to get my clothes feel looser. Friday-yay! I feel thin! Hard work paid off! Saturday and Sunday-I guess I can take advantage for just two days and eat fun food! Monday-everything feels tight and uncomfortable. 😦


    • I moved last week. Spent all this week cleaning up the old house, doing runs to the Charity and the Dump. I have logged more steps than ever on my Fitbit … I actually feel as though I’ve gained weight. lol I’m sleeping all weekend. My feet hurt! :p

      Liked by 1 person

    • That’s such a positive take on things! lol I immediately chalked it up to my dick bag belt was all like, “Look how much weight you’ve lost” only to turn around, laugh and say, “Just kidding! I’m out!”

      Liked by 1 person

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